Chasing After You

A small offering at the lotus feet of om visnupada paramhamsa 108 Sri Srimad A.C. Bhativedanta Swami Prabhupada, on his holy Vyasa Puja (Birth Anniversary)

Part 1
Sometimes history is cruel, Srila Prabhupada.
It turns rulers into fools.

It takes ambitious devotees and corrupts them into thieves.
I'm sorry, i'm referring to your crooked GBCs.

Sometimes i wonder who i am, Srila Prabhupada.
Am i really your man, ready to risk and even die?
Or am i just a caterpillar, a wannabe butterfly?

Easily i can see the faults in all others,
but how come i'm not a more solid brother?

You conquered my heart with your spotless sincerity,
but wherefrom do i feel all these heavy impurities?

Part 2
Srila Prabhupada, once i sat with you in your room in Tehran, and i felt your presence surround me.
After 30+ years the bond is not broken, but the inspiration's gone in the darkness around me.

Yes, you were the light of the moon and the sun for your spiritual daughters and enthusiastic sons.
You always lit up the hearts of your gentle, faithful ones.

For those who decided to usurp your spiritual powers,
you vanished like a yogi and became a plastic model.

They waved your flag like crusaders, just to game their way,
but like Karna at Kuruksetra, their strength will fail them
when it's time to pay.

It's you who steals the hearts of those whose souls are dear,
If someone tries to steal you, you simply disappear.

Part 3
Now my prayer becomes more real,
as i need to tell you frankly what my weak heart reveals.

O Prabhupada, when i look into my heart and see my own conceit,
i know my tears are insufficient, my surrender incomplete.

Surrender is not a show, a dress, success or popularity poll.
It's the battle to give up all things unfavorable, the desire to control.

Srila Prabhupada, of your golden legacy, i'm just a petty thief.
Calling myself 'disciple,' but resisting your lotus feet.

What am i doing in this world? What opulence do i have?
Credit cards and shopping bags, senses like 2nd class rags.

Part 4
When will i discard my anarthas and naked run behind you?
Like a humble, hungry dog who wants only to find you?

O master, they can curse me, tease me or beat me blue,
as long as i can keep on running and chasing after you....

Srila Prabhupada, i'm still fallen, a jiva gone astray.
Guide me to your shelter, by hook or crook someway.

You're my president, my true friend, my deepest love, my lord,
in every word, every step and every type of chord.

In my in breath and out breath, each and every birth and death,
may you always be my goal, my heaven, my moksa, my test.

Part 5
Srila Prabhupada, steal my mind and be my inner heart's thief.
Uproot my illusions. Cut this broken-hearted grief.

By your mercy, and by the power of your love for me,
open my eyes to All-Attractive Krishna Conscious Reality.

Nitya nityanam centanas cetananam.....

Your life was the perfect purport of this Katha Upanisad verse.
You purify my existence when i hear you chant these words.

Srila Prabhupada, let your presence within me be my single-minded truth.
Transform me into what you named me:
a liberated servant of the Ever-Fresh Youth.


your melancholy and impoverished sisya,

nava jauvana das

Double Dealing

After a 60 year history marked by more than its share of coups, assassinations, military takeovers, executions of leaders and economic misery, Pakistan is not exactly an example of a successful nation.

So it is interesting to see the latest chapter unfold. Pervez Musharraf, the Pakistani Army general who engineered a bloodless coup to take over from the corrupt Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif in October 1999, and then crowned himself President, has just resigned under pressure. This ended nine years of more-or-less dictatorship. This is normal in Pakistan's history, but what is exceptional is how Musharraf played both ends of the table. On one side, he ended Pakistan's support of the Taliban leadership in Afghanistan after the Twin Towers attacks of Sept. 11, 2001. He pledged to help the United States, becoming one of Washington's chief allies in its campaign against Al Qaeda, at least on the surface.

What many people do not know is that Pakistan's powerful military-controlled intelligence agency, the ISI (Inter-Services Intelligence), was the creator and main backer of the Taliban in Afghanistan, as well as the brains and resources behind the insurrection against India in Kashmir. Musharraf, as the head of the military, was intimately associated with the ISI. They created havoc and bloodshed both in Afghanistan and in Kashmir for over a decade. They were also probably behind an attack on the Indian parliament in December, 2001, that almost led to a nuclear war between India and Pakistan. I was in India at the time (early 2002) and personally saw huge missles being transported on flatbed railroad cars to the front lines.

While Musharraf was assuring George W. Bush of his determination to fight Al Qaeda, he was simultaneously winking at his ISI buddies who never servered ties with the Taliban. Pakistan is enormously envious of India, and they used the Taliban as their surrogates in Afghanistan and within India's own borders, in Kashmir. The strategy was to freeze India out of Afghanistan and eventually to wrest control of disputed Kashmir away from India. But geopolitical events such as 9/11 disrupted Pakistan's plans. That did not stop Musharraf from playing both sides.

The U.S. gave Pakistan more than $10 billion since 9/11 in so-called "anti-terrorism funds." No one knows where that money went. The Taliban are resurgent and threatening not just targets in Afghanistan but inside Pakistan as well. Today a suicide bomber killed 25 people in a hospital emergency room in northwest Pakistan, a Taliban operation. And the CIA recently presented evidence to Pakistan's new prime minister that the ISI, Pakistani's intelligence service, organized the July 7 terror attack against the Indian Embassy in Afghanistan's capital, Kabul.

Pakistan's leading nuclear scientist, A.Q. Khan, a national hero for creating their atomic bomb, has been under house arrest since 2004. He confessed to directing a clandestine network for sharing nuclear weapons technology with Libya, Iran and North Korea. He recently explained in an interview with ABC News that the Pakistani government and President Pervez Musharraf forced him to sign the confession to be a "scapegoat for the national interest." In other words, according to him, it was Musharraf and the Pakistani army that was engaging Khan in selling nuclear weapons secrets on the market.

It's a remarkable story of double dealing by General Musharraf, placating the gullible Americans and collecting their billions, while quietly continuing to do business as usual with the Taliban and selling nuclear secrets to countries that are sworn enemies of the US. Some would say, successful diplomacy. Others would call it: duplicity at its worst.

What's the lesson here?

Look around at the institutions and the leaders in your life. The ideals of a nation or an institution are compromised by duplicity. Duplicity distorts even the greatest good by turning it into a lie. Even those who claim to represent the unalloyed Absolute Truth can be tainted by duplicity. Duplicity corrupts. It turns truth and trust into suspicion and cynicism.

So look around at what you are embracing. And if you see duplicity there, speak out. Don't be cowed into submission by false teachers who use their power or the power of scripture to silence you out of fear of making offense. Silence itself can be an offense if you see abuse and do not react.

A vaisnava should tolerate everything except duplicity. Honest dealings between devotees is the currency of spiritual association. And according to the Bhagavatam, truth is the only good quality left in this age. (The four legs of the dharma bull are Mercy, Cleanliness, Austerity and Truthfulness. Only the leg of Truth remains standing in Kali yuga.)

Don't deal with double dealers or you'll be dealt a losing hand. And lose the only leg you have left to stand on.

Lord of Supernatural Strength

O Lord of Supernatural Strength, today is Your Purnima, Your "Birthday."

You have always been kind to me, the weakest in Your creation. I have never cared enough about You to give up my shadow strengths, the endless thoughts of independent plans, the attachments that preclude Your service. Today, rather than feel the strength to celebrate Your Supernatural Power, I lament.

I lament my distance from Your mercy. I lament my indifference to Your beauty. I lament my ignorance of Your mystical superhuman powers. I lament my spiritual weakness.

You disposed of Romaharsan with a single blade of kusa grass. He was very qualified, learned, elected to sit on the vyasasan by the forest sages. He was exalted a million times more than the rubber-stamped gurus of today's Iskcon. Yet, his arrogance did not inspire him to stand up and receive You upon Your arrival at the meeting. He was fit to be killed by You. Yet, the demon Duryodhana, who gave so much grief to the Pandavas, Your own devotees, you befriended and became his guru. Who can understand You?

You serve Your younger brother, Sri Krishna, in every way: as His best friend, His servant, His guru, and in the form of Ananga Manjari, as an intimate confidant in His conjugal affairs. As His older brother, You taught Him the art of flute playing so He could impress His young gopis, with music so transcendental that it bewildered even Lord Brahma and Lord Siva. No one is more dear to Krishna than You.

You also appeared as the son of Padmavati and elder brother of Mother Saci's son, Nimai. In this avatar, You traded Your supramundane powers for intoxicated bliss. You partnered with Your brother not to rid the world of demons but to deliver them thru the holy names and absolute forgiveness. Jai Nitai!

Lord of Incomparable Strength, I appeal to the transcendental pity in You. Glance at this weak jiva of Yours and remove the dark shadows that eclipse my mind and intelligence. Destroy the Rahu impressions of millions of births in this universe.

You gave benedictions to the flower merchant who garlanded You and Your brother when You entered Mathura to kill the wrestlers. I have nothing to garland You with except this insufficient prayer. Yet I pray that You benedict me also, in one of my coming crores of births, with the spirit of selfless service to You and Your brother, and attachment to Your holy names.

O Ananta Sesa, Sri Halodhar, Rohini nandana, Dauji. Happy Birthday, Lord Balaram!

Light Years Apart

Dear Readers,
On this auspicious ekadasi and tirobhava of Srila Rupa Goswami, the intimate follower of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu who inspired and blessed our Srila Prabhupada to deliver the message of Lord Gauranga and save the lost souls of this planet, Atma Vidya prabhu, has completed an epic poem. Although his native language is German, he has very articulately and poetically described our existential dilemma in separation from Our Beloved Spiritual Master.

So with great pleasure, i present his words here, copyright Atma Vidya 2008. As a graphic artist, Atma Vidya is very particular about type face and layout. I ask his forgiveness since i have little control over that in this current format. Nevertheless, the power of his words are transparent for all who share our history.

O fateful day in nineteen-seventy-seven
when Mother Earth had lost her crown,
a planet, that was envied in heaven –
under an eerie spell. A haunted town.

Mission usurped – a ruthless Eleven
bent on dragging its glory down,
auspiciousness drowning
greedy blizzards howling,
until the light fails
and darkness prevails.

Our guiding sun, and cooling moon, had set
on the horizon of our limited vision,
children of Kali, caught in Your net
still holding on to our cherished prison,
spiritual toddlers bereft of their mother
loving and caring, unlike any other.

O Prabhupad, master divine
nothing compares to you
and no one too.

Surely not the voted-in variety,
whose hallmark is anxiety –
craving for profit, distinction, adoration
soliciting laughter, applause, standing ovation
eager to make the crowd feel good
keen to impress and entertain,
basic philosophy not understood
traded in for personal gain,
immature audiences paying the bill
for inflated egos – O what a cheap thrill.

From one retreat to next retreat
– the word itself denotes defeat,
seminars, seminars, seminars
yield nothing but exposing the farce,
no cheering – no shakti
no spotlights – no bhakti
who needs all these wannabe stars.

You told us, that – indeed
one moon is all we need.
Nothing compares to you
and no one too.

No self-declared successor
who came to claim your legacy,
suggesting – you only gave the ABC
and even that be under lock and seal
and it is he, who holds the key
for him alone, it's to reveal.
Learned and senior, he well may be –
somehow, he does not appeal to me.

Whatever it be, that they purport,
all whistles and bells.
Of my life – only you are the Lord
and nobody else.

No pseudo academics, who alter your books.
Of all deviants – this type might truly be vile
deceptive in manners, and in their looks
folded hands and painted smile,
vaishnav' attire complete with danda,
Chicago Manual of Style
they do succeed, in cardinal blunder.

Our life's very support, they dare to maim.
Responsible publishing – is what they claim.
Of all havoc that's been created,
this is the most severe.

How many times had you stated,
in instructions perfectly clear:
No more changes.

Master divine, our Prabhupad
far, far above – light years apart.

A class, an interview, or speech,
you never needed to prepare.
As Krishna's confidant, you could reach
any soul, any time, any where.
O Shastra in person, you would teach
spontaneously, right then and there,
not by technique or stagy scheme –
just compassion beyond esteem,
penetrating crust over crust
composed of greed, anger, and lust
reaching straight to our innermost core
where the embarrassed Jiva you saw.

Your words did never need varnish
as direct, as they were sublime
the vedic truth without garnish.
One case in point, one point in time:
A morning walk, along the shore,
One gentleman, just wanted more:
"Swami Ji, you keep telling us those things –
Two plus Two is Four...we learn..."
"...you want Five?" – Your swift return.

The instant thereafter,
does it need mention?
there was indeed laughter –
sheer joy of comprehension,
essential point, understood in a flick
it's the realized soul, it's not a trick.

You cautioned us all
to not jump ahead
so we might not fall
be patient instead.

Related to Krishna, whatever the mood
it is all about love, and all absolute.
Desire trees,
weeping streams of honey upon hearing that flute.
Hanuman's exclusive devotion, to Sita and Ram.
And Bhismadev?
For him, a wounded Lord holds special charm –
battleground love-bites from arrows and spears.

A paltry gift,
yet the most intense feelings – from Vipra Sudam.
Mother Yashoda's puzzlements, worries and fears.
Crowning it all – an afflicted gopi's elusive mood.
Very distinct Rasas, all unique – but all absolute.

You did not ask the Beloved of your heart
Boston pier, in sixty-five, while still aboard.
to please grant you success and a flying start –
but be a puppet, in the hands of the Lord.

Master divine, how may I say –
I know, it's Your appearance day,
but in these dark and troubled times
I much prefer to skip the chimes.

To honor you, in adequate voice,
all attempts must certainly fail,
colorful phrases, words of choice
in front of your grace, only turn pale.

besides –
for all the words spoken
I have nothing to show
not even a token,
but one thing I know
whatever became
you never let go
you stayed in my heart
and –
with chanting the name
I never did part.
In my most sinful of days
even through the vodka haze.

Falling at your feet
with shame in my face
I have come to plead
with your Divine Grace
to send some rays of light,
spiritual strength. To guide
this old warship of yours
away from the moors.

Without preaching, life had turned stale.
I mean the front lines, facing the gale.
But without vaishnav' association
I am lost and weak, and sure to fail
So I want to extend my imploration
to include all the seasoned battleships
of your scattered and disbanded fleet
your true and honest disciples in need
dispersed and lonesome all over the globe
for as it turns out, in times like these,
it is them, who are humankind's hope.

Across the lands, across the seas
your Viduras and your Draupadis,
your Jatayus and your Vibhisans,
your grown-up gurukula girls and boys
who never really had a chance or choice.

And all of the others?
who too are sisters and brothers?
so-called leaders, and otherwise?
whom I severely critize?
To them I have but one appeal:
stop and think, think again – and pause,
study the Gita –AS IT WAS,
but first and foremost – please get real.

Always praying for the shelter of your lotus feet,
Your humbled servant,
Atmavidya das
On your Shri Vyasa-puja day, 2008

Fuel Efficiency

Today i would like to ask the assembled readers to contribute their thoughts and experiences on being efficient. Perhaps because i feel tired from moving my accumulated possessions from Cambridge, MA to Evanston, IL. Or because i am a bit exhausted from my recent rants. Or perhaps because i feel so inefficient and unproductive.

The natural world seems terribly efficient. Molecules work 24/7 metabolizing and doing whatever else they do. Time is killer efficient. Nobody gets a pass from it. Even animals seem pretty efficient in the wild. But human beings appear much less efficient. Due to their neurosis, fears or completely over the top pride, they seem to be out of sync with the rest of the natural universe when it comes to efficiency.

We know from observing the life of Srila Prabhupada how efficient and economical he was, with time, with money and with energy. He didn't waste anything. That is one of the 26 qualities of a pure devotee, is it not?

I get a lot of pleasure from being efficient, when i am. I really enjoy the rush. But mostly i'm not. Most of the time, i'm efficient at being inefficient.

It would be a nice gift to hear your realizations and your accomplishments in this area of efficiency. For the sake of making this exercise more efficient, here is what my dictionary says about it:
• achieving maximum productivity with minimum wasted effort or expense.
• working in a well-organized and competent way.
• preventing the wasteful use of a particular resource, in this case, our most precious one, time.

Rehab's Over

For those who have been reading my posts, you know that one of my main rant themes is the injustice done to the godbrothers and godsisters by the institution, starting with the zonals back in 1977. Those of us who were in Iskcon then, lived thru a very dark period and we each had our experiences. Those who came later also suffered from the residual effects of those injustices. It seems to me that the so-called reformers who wanted to rectify the mistakes made by the zonals, made their own (mistakes), only compounding the dire straights. So i've been pounding on this theme for some time, because words, even coming from an insignificant source like me, do have power. And because most of the readers have lived thru similar experiences. So my posts serve as a kind of rehab session for all of us to heal our wounds from battles past.

But it's also true that for most of us, those battles were from the past. And the deeper reality of the present is that those battles were part of our destiny. And part of our purification. For one, they should help us realize that no situation, no matter how nice or nasty, is permanent. And second, that regardless of external calamities, nothing can check awareness or devotion for God. Nothing, not even the pralaya.

So it is important for each of us to go deeper. To see the great challenge being offered to us by our destiny . How by participating in a society of a great spiritual teacher, a giant amongst gurus and an empowered deliverer, and then being rejected or rejecting that same society due to its inebriety and inequality, we now have a new chance to either make progress or to regress. We are "on our own," but never alone. We have in our hearts, our relationship with God and guru forged in the impressions of past sincerity. And now, in our growing maturity, these are the relationships that count.

So the time has come for each of us to take up this challenge in our own way. Certainly i would like the emotional support and encouragement of my friends and godbrothers who traverse this narrow path. Just to know that they are making the attempt to make progress, to go deeper, to not be afraid to fail, and to offer whatever they can to the cause of God realization, is a great source of inspiration for me. Let us turn our focus to the positive, the doable, the journey beyond the betrayal, to the plane of inner achievment. Let's allow ourselves the detachment to leave the past and turn the page. Rehab's over. Let's do something.

Maws, Morons & Oxymorons

I received a lot of interesting feedback from my last post, "Secret GBC Resolution Revealed." Most readers thought it was funny and really enjoyed it. Satire exaggerates and highlights the shadows of reality to the point where you gotta laugh at it.

One old friend and godbrother wrote me: "too funny 'maws.' we won't make it to the pisswall at this rate, but at least we'll die laffin on the way there..."

Another godbrother commented that he read half-way thru the post before he suspected it might be a farce. He still wasn't sure if it was true or not, so he looked up the word "Maws" in a dictionary, because English is not his native language. Well, English is my native tongue, but i also looked it up when i was creating an acronym for the Mayapur Perpetual Worship Scheme:
maw |mô|
1. the jaws or throat of a voracious animal like a wolf hound.
2. the mouth or gullet (stomach) of a greedy person.

Do i really think the GBC body should be compared to the jaws of a wolf? The short answer: yes. Because what Srila Prabhupada gave to each and every one of his disciples was his mercy and his love. He deputized the GBC to administer this love on his behalf. How do you administer love? There's only one way: by creating TRUST. Love cannot exist without trust. Trust is always the foundation for love in any relationship.

And what has the GBC done since the disappearance of Srila Prabhupada? From practically the moment he left this world, the zonal acaryas used their power, manipulation, deceipt and despotism to create DISTRUST amongst and between their godbrothers and godsisters. Now that the years have gone by, the zonals have been replaced by the reformers. But have they brought back the spirit of love and trust to Iskcon? If they have, then why are 95% of Prabhupada's disciples-- his spiritual children-- still unwelcome and missing in action?

(To any idiots who want to know if this percentage has been verified by a "survey," no it hasn't, But Prabhupada initiated around 5,000 disciples. How many do you see hanging around Iskcon these days? In most temples, none or very, very few. That means 95% or more are missing. And it's not because they're all "in maya.")

Does anyone in Iskcon's leadership ever ask why those devotees--their godbrothers and godsisters-- have gone away? Or how Iskcon could make them welcome or encourage them? The answer to that question is an all-pervasive silence. Or, if anyone is preaching and criticises the GBC, they pass a resolution to gag that person.

Will a war criminal ever call for his own trial? Does a greedy, voracious politician ever give up his position? Can a moron sit down and write poetry?

Maws was an attempt to satirize the characters within Iskcon who act more like caricatures than acaryas. If i had written such a piece 25 years earlier, clearly my life would be endangered. Even now, some fundamentalist disciple might read these posts and seek me out to avenge his guru's honor. So let me clarify (if only to protect my own life). I'm not saying the GBC men and women are inherently evil. Most if not all are dedicated devotees. But i am saying that they have failed the basic test and responsibility given to them by Srila Prabhupada. That is the duty of the GBC to set the example for love and trust between devotees.

Either by comission or by omission, the leaders of Iskcon have miserably failed Srila Prabhupada on this most fundamental issue. They have acted not as brahmanas but as kripanas (misers) and even worse, not as servants but as oligarchs who lord over others.

Does anyone claim that the spirit of trust can be found in Iskcon? Or that there is a social model anywhere in Iskcon where artificial hierarchies of haves and have nots does not exist? Let me know, because i haven't seen it, and i've been around a long time. I see the opposite wherever i go. In a few places there is a standard of etiquitte being practiced, but even there, the mentality of "us and "them" predominates. And "us" usually translates to no more than the "I, me and mine" of a respective leader and his surrogates.

OK, but where's the oxymoron i mentioned in this post's title?
oxymoron
a figure of speech in which apparently contradictory terms appear in conjunction
ORIGIN mid 17th cent.: from Greek oxumōron, neuter (used as a noun) of oxumōros ‘pointedly foolish,’ from oxus ‘sharp’ + mōros ‘foolish.’

The sharply foolish meme here is the notion that the GBC represents Srila Prabhupada's spirit of love and trust. Yes, that is the GBC's reason for existence-- to apply Prabhupada's spirit justly and wisely in the society of devotees. But when you put the words together-- Prabhupada's spirit and the GBC -- you get a perfect oxymoron, a self-contradictory conjunction. The GBC produces mistrust, the opposite of what it was created to produce. A living contradiction to the spirit of love and trust embodied by Srila Prabhupada.

The credibility that was invested in the GBC has become so devalued that only its own members take themselves seriously. Even many of their own disciples see thru their incompetence. After more than 30 years of negligent, often abusive, and always abysmal leadership, the best offering the GBC could now make to Srila Prabhupada is to resign en masse. That is something that would make him happy, although they will never do it.

If they did, they could call a general meeting of all devotees, especially the disciples of Prabhupada who left or were forced to leave Iskcon but who still honor and worship Prabhupada in their own hearts. Let them sit together with the self-retired GBC and together find a way to deconstruct the legal, corporate, religious labyrinth that the GBC concocted with their own ideas to fortify their own control. And let the devotees find some hope to rediscover the original purpose and mood Srila Prabhupada had in his pure heart when he brought Krishna consciousness from Vrindavan to Second Avenue. That's the spirit of awareness and love for Krishna and mutual trust and respect for each other. Love and trust. Without them, Iskcon is just another intolerant religion that promises substance but delivers only style. And creates opportunities for maws, morons and oxymorons.

Secret GBC Resolution Revealed

A secret GBC Resolution --No.57.08, passed at this year's Mayapur meetings-- has just come to my attention. An insider sent me the unpublished resolution on condition of anonymity. It deals with the coming wave of devotees, especially first generation Prabhupada disciples, who will be leaving their bodies in the next 10-20-30 years. The GBC decided it was timely to make preparations to properly enshrine their remains within the holy grounds of Iskcon Mayapur.

The GBC body came up with a new program to accomodate and honor the final remains of all members in good standing. Thus, the Mayapur Perpetual Worship Scheme (henceforward known as MAWS) was created by secret resolution at this year's GBC meeting. Till now, dandavats.com has not mentioned it, so the readers of this post are getting a real "scoop."

The purpose of MAWS is to perpetuate the memory and the worship of those great souls whose vision transformed Iskcon from a small spiritual movement into the wildly popular Hindu institution that it is today.

MAWS takes into account the position of the deceased disciples to determine the level of their posthumous worship. For example, Gurus (e.g. those who are officially rubber-stamped to initiate disciples and freely distribute divine grace), will be offered "VIP" Samadhi Worship as part of the scheme. This will be a "pukkha standard" of worship that no guru will want to be without. Not everyone has disciples who can sit around all year in Mayapur to attend their samadhis. This package allows for elegant worship to continue year-round without burdening any disciples. It comes complete with marble and gold leaf engraved worship paraphernalia, morning arotiks, and a daily 7 course lunch feast. (Originally the GBC wanted Bengali pujaris to do the puja and seva, but the locals demanded iPhones, expensive watches, laptops and visas to the US.) To keep costs down and make the scheme affordable, the GBC decided to import brahmacaris from Eastern Europe and the Balkans.

The annual fee for the VIP Samadhi worship will be $8001, an amount that one sankirtan devotee or a wealthy disciple can easily come up with in no time. (Monthly installment plans are also available.)

The next level down in the MAWS scheme is for those gurus, sannyasis and vanaprasthas who unfortunately had a minor falldown. MINOR falldowns as defined by the GBC in this resolution include such things as: getting laid, snorting a line of cocaine, seducing your godbrother's wife, or becoming a transexual drag queen. The list is quite long, but basically doing anything illicit can be taken as a minor falldown. The GBC feels that such accidental falldowns should be forgiven. MAWS offers these devotees a simple way out of their embarrasing situation with a "Redemption Clearance Certificate."

Minor falldown gurus and sannyasis can easily purchase their Redemption Clearance Certificate. The pre-paid cost is a modest $501-- that's a really good deal-- for what is essentially falldown insurance. It's still affordable at $1008 for the postpaid plan. After an official certificate is issued, the redeemed late gurus and sannyasis can start to receive Budget Samadhi Worship immediately. The Budget Samadhi scheme features a handsome brass arotik tray, bi-monthly arotiks on the purnima and amavasya, and feast prasad on holy days (as much as you can eat those days, since you will not receive daily prasadam). The annual fee for Budget Samadhi Worship in the MAWS scheme is $3333.

The GBC MAWS resolution has a caveat in it which states: "Any guru, sannyasi or vanaprastha who publishes anything critical of the GBC, regardless of the truth behind their accusations, will be considered an unredeemable sinner." Such heretics are considered victims of MAJOR falldowns. Major falldown disciples can never atone for their mistakes nor will they be allowed to purchase a Redemption Clearance Certificate. (There may be a few exceptions for exceptionally wealthy sinners who can ante upwards of $100,000 baksheesh to the right persons, but this isn't explicitly stated in the resolution.)

Finally, the GBC did not forget the rank-and-file disciples, those pathetic godbrothers, godsisters and grand disciples who never had enough ambition to climb the corporate ladder in Iskcon, who rarely got the best maha prasad due to not having a position, who could not enjoy free business class world travel or have their expenses reimbursed by disciples, and who were never surrounded by fawning sycophants. The GBC wants to thank all such sincere servants and graciously offers them their own perpetual worship. Their ashes will be respectfully placed in a small slot in a wall within walking distance of the men's and women's toilets, just a kilometer from the Guru/Sannyasi samadhi area. The wall will be nicely decorated with cow dung year-round, and once a year, a pujari will sprinkle buffalo milk on the wall to commemorate the wonderful sacrifices of these less important devotees. An annual fee of $101 for the ordinary devotee "Hole in the Wall" worship will be waived. According to our sources, the popular sannyasi, His Holiness Maha Kripa Sindhu Bindhu Maharaj, offered this as an amendment to the MAWS resolution, and it unanimously passed.

Unfortunately, a restrictive amendment, proposed by the hard-liner, Swami Rudra Tapasvi Maharaj, also passed. It states that any disciple or grand disciple who ever had the shameless audacity or sheer chutzpah to openly question the authority of the GBC, BBT, a regional secretary, vice president or even a local temple commander, will be ineligible for the MAWS scheme. The GBC regrets that the ashes of such offenders cannot be placed anywhere within the sacred grounds of Iskcon Mayapur. They are to be blacklisted in perpetuity from the property. Their heirs will need to make other arrangements for their ashes.

"Try a small, local Gaudiya Math...or in a pinch, there's always Mother Ganga....She'll take anyone," suggested a sympathetic GBC member, who spoke off the record on condition of anonymity.

That's all we know so far about this still-secret resolution. We'll update you as soon as more details become available. Stay tuned. And stay loyal. It's never been easier to attain samadhi!

On Purity & Pollution

In London, on July 26,1973, Srila Prabhupada gave a class on Bhagavad-gita. In the class, Prabhupada gives a very clear argument against animal killing:

"So we should not think like that, that animals or trees or birds and beasts, they are other than ourself. They are our brothers. Because the seed-giving father is Krsna, and the mother is material nature. So we have got the same father and same mother. So if we have got the same father and mother, they are all our brothers.

"So unless one is advanced in spiritual consciousness, how he can think of universal brotherhood? This is nonsense. There is no possibility. The so-called universal brotherhood is possible when he is Krsna conscious, when one knows that Krsna is the common father of everyone. The father will not tolerate. Suppose father has got ten sons. Out of them one or two sons are useless. So those who are very capable sons, if they say to the father, "My dear father, these two sons of yours, they are useless. So let us cut their throat and eat." So father will say, "Yes, you do that"? No. Father will never say. The father will say, "Let them be useless, but let them live at my cost. Why...? You have no right to infringe on their rights." This is common sense.

"But these rascals, they think that animals are to be killed for the satisfaction of the tongue of the human being. No sense. No sense. And still they are passing on as religious heads. Such type of cheating religion is completely kicked out from this Bhagavata religion. Dharmah projjhita-kaitavo atra paramo nirmatsaranam vastavah vastu vedyam atra [SB 1.1.2]. It is meant for, this Bhagavat-dharma. Krsna consciousness movement is meant for the paramo nirmatsaranam those who are not envious. How they can be envious? Paramahamsa, one who has understood what is this creation, who is the creator, what are these living entities, one who has got this knowledge, he is called paramahamsa."

Later that afternoon, a world renowned economist, Dr. E.F. Shumacher, visited with Srila Prabhupada. Schumacher was a respected economist who worked with J.M. Keynes and J.K. Galbraith. He was one of the intellectual fathers of the environmental and ecology movements. He wrote that single-minded concentration on technology was dehumanizing. Schumacher proposed the idea of "smallness within bigness." He had spent time in Burmese villages, and developed what he called "Buddhist economics." He wrote a book titled "Small is Beautiful" in 1973 that made him famous. A few quotes from his book:

"The less toil there is, the more time and strength is left for artistic creativity. Modern economics, on the other hand, considers consumption to be the sole end and purpose of all economic activity."

"It is clear, therefore, that Buddhist economics must be very different from the economics of modern materialism, since the Buddhist sees the essence of civilisation not in a multiplication of wants but in the purification of human character. Character, at the same time, is formed primarily by a man's work. And work, properly conducted in conditions of human dignity and freedom, blesses those who do it and equally their products."

"Ever bigger machines, entailing ever bigger concentrations of economic power and exerting ever greater violence against the environment, do not represent progress: they are a denial of wisdom. Wisdom demands a new orientation of science and technology towards the organic, the gentle, the non-violent, the elegant and beautiful."

Shumacher was one of the first economists to recognize that dependence on oil would become self-destructive, as it's a finite resource and is also highly polluting. In his way, he foretold the dangers of global warming before science had identified it.

Here are some excerpts from the conversation between Shumacher and Prabhupada.

Prabhupada: Thank you very much for your coming. I have read some of your ideas. So from your writing it appears you are nice, thoughtful man. Muni, the Sanskrit word is muni. Just like Narada Muni. They are very thoughtful....I was just reading this article, "Cars, Profits and Pollution." So this one side, we make profit, another side, we make pollution. This is the material, result of material activities. Whatever you do. Anything you do material, it is same. In one side, you see, "Oh, there is so much profit," and another side, you'll see so much pollution. Therefore the remedy is to act for spiritual realization. Then you will avoid pollution.

Just for example, that in the Ten Commandments, the first Commandment is "Thou shall not kill." So when I ask any Christian gentleman, "Then why you are killing?" they cannot give me any satisfactory answer.

Revatinandana: How does the, how does the process of animal slaughter in the slaughterhouse as we find it today, how does it fit in your philosophy for, say, changing the society? Where do you put that in your philosophy?

Schumacher: Well, I think one should try and do without it. You can't everywhere do without it. It's like all nonviolence. It's a direction of movement, to try to do your utmost to go as far as...

Revatinandana: So wherever possible, the slaughtering business should not go on.

Schumacher: That's right. But the Eskimos, for instance...

Prabhupada: That is another thing.

Schumacher: That's what I was saying, you see.

Prabhupada: When there is no food, so human life is more important than animal life. So the human life should be saved at the sacrifice of animals. That is another question. But where there is complete facilities to get very nice, nutritious food, why these poor animals should be killed?

Revatinandana: But in the last week we've had a Jesuit priest, a Black Friar's monk, several other theologically inclined Christian gentlemen have been here, and not one of them has assented to that statement. They do not agree. They think that...

Prabhupada: They do not agree that animal killing is sinful. They do not agree.

Schumacher: It's a very long question, isn't it. I mean...

Prabhupada: No, it is a simple question. Killing, do you think killing is very good business? Then why it is forbidden, "Thou shall not kill."

Schumacher: No, but sometimes protection is necessary.

Prabhupada: That is another thing. Generally, you should not kill. But when there is absolute necessity, that is another thing. But generally, this killing process you cannot support, and at the same time, you want to make the society purified. You commit sinful activities; at the same time, you want to purify. How it is possible?

Schumacher: I think a society can survive, and spirituality can survive, even among meat-eaters. It's much more difficult, I imagine, that a society can survive which has animal factories.....I mean there is the ruling assumption that you need it, which I challenge and you challenge....
The Buddhists have got a good, a good formula on this, and...

Prabhupada: It is not the question of Buddhist, Christian or Hindu. It is common sense philosophy.

Schumacher: The Buddhists have a good compromise on this. They say you can eat meat...

Prabhupada: No, no strict Buddhist will say.

Schumacher: ...but because you're not allowed to kill animals for eating meat.

Prabhupada: What is this?

Schumacher: So they let the Muslims kill the animals.

Prabhupada: Eight kinds of criminals. In killing animals, there are eight kinds of criminals. One who is killing, one who is ordering, one who is purchasing, one who is eating, one who is cooking, in this way... Just like if a man is killed. If a man is killed and there are so many persons implicated, it does not mean that only one who has killed, he becomes criminal. All others who are implicated in that killing business, they are criminals. This is pollution....

God consciousness cannot be achieved without being pure. In the Bhagavad-gita it is said, param brahma param dhama pavitram paramam bhavan [Bg. 10.12]. God is the supreme pure. You cannot approach God, you cannot understand God, in impure condition. And without God consciousness, there cannot be any purification. You try to understand this simple fact, that without God consciousness, you may prescribe so many things -- they will be all failure, all failure. And God consciousness cannot be achieved without being pure. This is the problem. Now you can think over it.

Schumacher: I agree with that.

Prabhupada: Yes. You can defend your theory but that will not help purification of the society. That will not help. Take it for granted. You can make so many theories but if you remain impure, if you are not God conscious, all these theories will be useless. Harav abhaktasya kuto mahad-guna mano-rathe... [SB 5.18.12]. This is simply mental speculation. Mano-rathena, hovering on the mental plane, you can jump from this to that, but that will not solve the problem. Mano-rathenasati dhavato bahih. So we do not act on mental speculation. It may be our credit or discredit. That is different thing. We simply follow the standard policy. That is Krsna consciousness. Now, everything is described in the Bhagavad-gita, how to become a brahmana, how to become a ksatriya, how to become a vaisya, how to become a sudra, or how to remain less important than the sudras. The societies must be divided in different divisions. They should work conjointly...

Sound Waves

In a conversation with George Harrison, John Lennon and Yoko Ono at John's estate in September, 1969, Srila Prabhupada explained the importance of music and sound to 2 of the world's most famous musicians.

"Music...the Vedic mantras were all thru music. Sound waves, sound waves are full of music....samagah means the followers of the sound waves...

"Gayanti...they are always in music. Thru musical vibration they are approaching the Supreme. Gayanti means singing. So Vedic mantras and sound.

"This whole Bhagavad Gita and Srimad Bhagavatam can be sung very nicely. And Vedic mantra chanting, simply by hearing the vibration people will be benefited. Even they do not understand."

Srila Prabhupada then launched into a 4 minute mellifluous a capella song of verses from the Bhagavatam, as George, John and Yoko sat and listened.

Prabhupada concluded his demonstration to the Beatles with these words: "Veda mantra.... Vedanta Sutra... simply by transcendental vibration of sound, everything can be achieved."

That same message Prabhupada gave to the Beatles, he delivered to all of us, repeatedly, in his lectures, conversations and books, and literally in his life as a teacher and guru. In fact, everything he did was predicated on his faith in transcendental sound vibration. This faith was not one of idealism or ideology, of religion or fanaticism. It was a faith of realism, based on a transparent, confidential relationship he had with his guru and with Krishna, and supported by his constant remembrance of the maha mantra.

He drew for us a perfect standard for measuring a transcendentalist, someone who lives within the waves of transcendental sounds.