There's nothing exciting to report. I'm doing a project, cleaning, renovating and leasing out a condo in New York City. My day is filled with trivial necessities: finding out the rule and regulations of the management company that controls the building the condo is in, getting estimates for renovation work, talking with the broker who has an exclusive to rent out the apartment. The other part of my day consists of spending a lot of time on the internet reading articles, news and responding to emails. Then in the evenings sometimes i walk 40 city blocks to Whole Foods, the organic supermarket in mid-town Manhatten, buy groceries, and take the bus back to the condo. Quite a drab life. Only the promise of it being temporary, and the hope that a passive income stream will be created, keeps me motivated.
New York is a dynamic place, but only in the direction of passion (money) and ignorance (name your sin). I honestly can't see much goodness here, except perhaps in the nature of Central Park. It was in this busy aggressive city that Srila Prabhupada arrived, penniless, 42 years ago. Amazing how he came, struggled on his own, tolerated much, and conquered maya here.
Then i read on the Sampradaya Sun the activities of people like Satsvarupa, Hrdayananda, Giriraj and others, who are neither struggling to preach, tolerating difficult conditions, apologizing to their godbrothers for their arrogance and mistakes, nor conquering over illusion. But like characters out of a bad historical novel, they still maintain a profile of being sadhus.
I really don't wish to judge them, knowing fully that in their situation,
i would be worse. But how sad it is, both for them and for everyone, that the divine movement they once joined as sincere students, now must suffer so much from their incompetence. In the name of expression they have created depression. Srila Prabhupada himself summed it up in a letter to Gurudus:
Please accept my blessings. I am in due receipt of your letter
dated August 23, 1972, and I have noted the contents carefully. Do not
be depressed. ALL ALONG MY GODBROTHERS GAVE ME ONLY DEPRESSION, REPRESSION, COMPRESSION--BUT I CONTINUED STRONG IN MY DUTY.
So that's the secret. Don't pay much attention to the godbrothers. And don't think there is anything in this world worth investing in. But continue "strong in your duty," however insignificant it seems.