The Day the Sun Went Out

Thirty years ago today was the day the world lost its sun. Sure, according to the scriptures, there are always pure devotees on the earth. And sure, there are hundreds of thousands more devotees in the world now than there were 30 years ago. But for me, that was the day when intelligence, common sense, joy, gracefulness, effulgence and humility left the world. That was the day when many imitation suns rose in the sky of Iskcon. And the day that darkness prevailed.
guru mukha padma-vakya, cittete koriya aikya, ar na koriho asa.
The words of the guru need to be focused in the heart, allowing no other hope or ambition to enter the mind. The hope of seeing the vapu of Srila Prabhupada gave me a chance to hear his words and keep them close to me as my guide. Now, without such hope, it is difficult to focus on those words. On top of that, background noise from imitators, exhibitionists, neophytes and sycophants, makes me cynical and callous to the sweet kirtan of sri guru carana padma.
How will my ears regain their innocence to hear his melodious words again? How will i wash Prabhupada's lotus feet with my tears when my eyes have gone dry? How will my hope rise again now that the sun has gone out and darkness surrounds me?