Iskcon Antics or Krishna Lila?

Tonite i was browsing thru the Sampradaya Sun, as part of my news habit. I read a short piece on the dangers ahead for the well educated and well behaved devotees of the Chowpatty temple in Mumbai. I spent seven weeks as a guest in that temple in 2002. The devotees treated me very nicely. I had long hair at the time (even a moustache i think) and i had not been a big devotee from the past. But because i was Radhanath Swami's guest and godbrother, i was offered a decent place to sleep and a lot of respect. I was also expected to be pro-Radhanath and pro-Iskcon, and any deviation from the party line would have probably revoked my privileges immediately. But as a good guest, i behaved according to expectations. And i sincerely appreciated the good association i received. It softened my heart for Iskcon (a second time). But after going from there to Juhu, where i stayed when i recorded my album Jivatma Express in a studio in nearby Andheri, and then back to Vrindavan, and finally, spending almost one year in Mayapur in the householder section of Iskcon, it soured me on Iskcon a second time. This time was without the anger and disillusionment of the first experience. My eyes were wide open, and i was not surprised when i realized that at least in its present incarnation, Iskcon is a damned institution. Yes, damned! Cursed by inept leadership, non-transparency, narrow-mindedness, misconceptions, and a multitude of prejudices and offenses towards other vaisnavas and people in general. So, for all of my nice memories of Chowpatty-- and the really beautiful hearts of some of the brahmacaries i met there-- i could never go back, except for a brief visit.

Actually i cannot understand how the devotees got it so wrong. How could they not get the inner mood of Srila Prabhupada? Why would they be satisfied only to imitate the externals? But this is the material world. Everyone in this world is damned to be an imitator of the Lord, and the institutions that are created thru great sacrifice by world teachers to revive the original spirit in jiva souls, are also damned by their followers who imitate the externals of religion and service to God. I'm not judging individuals. Everyone has their own path back to Godhead, and it is not for me or anyone to judge another. But it is up to each of us to open our eyes and walk our own walk on that path.

Another article in today's Sun described the famous vaisnava poet and composer, Jayadeva. He is most famous as author of Das Avatar, the classic Sanskrit poem depicting the incarnations of Krishna. Jayadeva was also a favorite poet of Lord Caitanya's, who spent much time hearing Jayadeva's verses. Reading about Jayadeva's life and his offerings of poetry, music and choreography to Lord Jagannath is inspiring. Here was a great genius in literature and music, but without any self-infatuation. All of his art was an offering to the Lord. He was indifferent to the political antics of his time and fully absorbed in describing the spotless pastimes of the Lord. That's a great lesson, a difficult lesson for us, who are conditioned to the desire for acceptance and averse to rejection by our peers. But in the end, whom do we want to remember? The transcendental and infinitely beautiful Lord of all creation, or the three stooges?

Please, Please Krishna

Tonite i'm settling in to an apartment in Cambridge, Massachusetts. This place is a small studio loft, about one mile from Harvard University. I don't have any particular business here, nor do i know a soul in this part of the world. But in order to stay in the US for the time being, i chose this area.

I haven't lived in one place in the US since i left Honolulu in 2000. Since then i've lived with friends in Europe and i've rented about 9 or 10 apartments all over India. I even bought, renovated and sold a place in Sridham Mayapur, West Bengal. I've lived out of suitcases for the last 8 years. So settling down and actually emptying my suitcase feels a bit strange. It feels awkward to be out of the transit lounge for awhile.

Existentially, we all are in the transit lounge known as "the material body." Otherwise known in Sanskrit as "samsara." We are here to enjoy and suffer the effects from our most recent stopovers in this mad universe. And we are here to learn the necessity of no more stopovers. Non-stop to freedom, please. Non-stop to non-reactions, please. Non-stop to taste for Nam prabhu, please. Non-stop to inner peace, please. All this is possible if our please is loud enough and persistent enough. If our please becomes a sincere cry for help. It's all in the please.

Looking In Instead of Out

In my last post i wrote about moving on, meaning to give up old attachments. We get stuck in things to the point where we stop being aware of them. We can't even tell how we got stuck. When we are forced, by circumstance or time, to let go, it comes as a shock. Painful. But we should prepare for these shocks, because they are as natural and common as tremors in Tokyo.

The solution to moving on, of course, is to move within. To focus on the internal life, the reality of our real life as a jiva soul. That is what sages and yogis and bhaktas do. But try being a sage in our society. A society fixated on externals, packaging, glamour, appearance, outward achievement. Even when we join a spiritual society or movement whose goals are to achieve realization of the self and God, the conditioning of the followers does not encourage true introspection. Those personalities who invariably rise to the surface and become prominent are motivated by looking out, building alliances, taking credit, grasping for power. Thus, every church or temple has atheism built into its foundation due to the nature of conditioned souls, as the great Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati once observed.

How does this happen? It's the mind: best of friends, worst of enemies, according to the Supreme Mind, Sri Krishna, who told this to Arjuna in the Gita. The mind, which is an energy of the Lord, and is originally situated in the mode of goodness, becomes overcome by dualities. Dualities that are populated by impressions mostly in the modes of passion and ignorance. It is these dualities that prevent us from seeing the unity in diversity that is God and His creation. Krishna is in everything and everything is in Krishna. vasudevah sarvam iti sa mahatma sudurlabhah (Such a great soul who knows that Krishna is the source of everything is extremely rare. Bhagavad gita 7.19)

Duality prevents us from seeing how Krishna is the source of all. Duality prevents us from looking within to see the inner beauty of ourselves and others and from seeing the divine beauty of the Lord. Even the people closest to us become like mirrors of our own outward looking nature. So we struggle within ourselves and with those around us.

There is everything to be grateful for and everything to praise when one has conquered his mind. The great challenge and theme for the neophyte transcendentalist is to change the direction from looking out to looking in. It cannot be done by seminars or meetings, by resolutions or edicts. It can only be done by an individual who has become exhausted by the dualities of this world and wants to surrender. Such a sincere person is very rare.

He or she is one amongst millions who can go from riding the waves on the surface of the modes of nature (and consistently drowning in her sorrows), to diving deep into the waters of dedication and love. Such a person, by the grace of God, is able to see the pure goodness of their Beloved Lord, unity in the diversity, even in the midst of the most disturbing duality. Such a person is happy in this world of misery. His only grief is to see the suffering of others. sa mahatma sudurlabhah.

Moving Within

All glories to the eternal Golden Moon, Sri Gaurachandra! All glories to the Golden Beauty, Sr Gaurasundara!

Today i went again to the Iskcon temple on Commonwealth Avenue for the festival of Lord Caitanya's Appearance Day. For some reason, i had an expectation. Whenever i expect something, i'm disappointed. Without expectation, there is no disappointment, and sometimes there is a surprised delight. But with expectation, disappointment is almost certain.

My expectation today was that somehow i would experience something transcendental. I would be carried into a transcendental state on this holiest of days (which happens to coincide with Good Friday). As it turned out today, the devotees are all pious people, but are conditioned by the same laws i am. And since i've witnessed both my own conditioning and the conditioning of devotees for almost the last 40 years, it all seemed way too predictable. It was a script i had already read too many times.

It's not necessary to go into the details. All intentions were nice, but suffice it to say, that after one hour in the temple, i was unwilling to sit thru another 2-3 hours. While i'm very familiar with all the temple activities, and their connection to Krishna, for me it was too difficult not to judge and not to be disappointed by the lack of spontaneity and lack of spiritual emotion generated by these rituals. I could have been sitting in a church or a synagogue or a mosque just as i was in the temple. I would have been respectful and i would have been bored in a similar way. Perhaps this is simply my own failing, my own atheism, coming to the surface. That's quite possible.

But rather than fight it, or go to sleep by it, i decided to get up and walk out. No matter how nice, religion falls short for me. It was a transcendental movement-- not a religion-- that attracted my heart 40 years ago, and it still attracts me. But it's not there anymore. When Prabhupada was here, despite all the flaws within me and around me, it still felt like a movement. Now, short a miracle of meeting another pure devotee in this life, nothing outside moves me. No group, no school, no society, no politics and no entertainment. There is no movement, or illusion of movement, after 40 years of searching.

I don't see myself as a victim. I think of myself as a thief who has finally been caught. Now i need to give back the stolen goods and to atone. Only this will bring me peace and movement within, movement towards transcendence. I need to move on, to move within.

All glories to the eternal Golden Limbed Sri Gauranga Mahaprabhu. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

Boston Hare Krishna

Tonite I'm in Boston. It feels cold here, after being in Florida and D.C. I visited the Hare Krishna temple this evening for their famous Sunday feast program. The temple is located in a beautiful century-old brownstone on one of the nicest streets in Back Bay, an elegant neighborhood. The building was probably purchased around 30 years ago, when it was cheap. Now it's worth millions, and surprisingly, the idiot GBCs didn't sell it off years ago, like they sold big properties in other major cities like New York City, Amsterdam, Paris, etc. So Iskcon has a beautiful building in Boston.

The temple is well maintained by what seems to be a combination of middle aged Indians and a few younger westerners. I don't know the details, but it appears to be functioning, like all Hare Krishna temples in the West, by the mercy of donations from the Indian community. About 80% or more of the guests tonite are from that community. It is really their temple. Being Indian, and pious, they are gentle, welcoming and tolerant towards all.

I missed the class but the kirtan was pretty nice, although led by an off-key singer. It felt at times a bit like forced exuburance, but did not go on interminably. And the prasadam was mild, tasty and very politely served by Indian devotees wearing plastic sanitary gloves. It was a very nice feast. Afterwards, i walked around, went upstairs to wash my hands, visited a store inside the temple and a few of the other public rooms. Again, it was mostly Indians, mostly male and mostly professionals. It could have been an IT conference. But it was KC.

I was a stranger there and only one devotee approached me to offer any assistance and to ask if it was my first visit. Actually it was my first time in that building. I was at the former location of the temple in 1971, when Srila Prabhupada installed the current deities, Sri Sri Radha Gopinath. It was nice to have Their darshan after so many years. It feels like another life.

My wanderings over the last 37 years, from country to country, house to house, ashram to ashram, looking for "my place," is what a good friend in Amsterdam wrote to me, a "reflection of our wandering from body to body, never satisfied, always defeated yet with renewed, but doomed hope every time. As Krsna advises in the 13th chapter (Bhagavad gita), 'see the evils of birth and death.'" Many people would say that is pessimistic. But Krishna says no, it's realistic. Evil is not about what others to do us, but what we do to ourselves.

We are not born free in this material world. We are bound by nature's laws, by our karma and by our misconceptions. Those misconceptions are the cause of our continued suffering. We can't change the laws of nature nor can we change our karma. But we can purify our existence by becoming aware of our misconceptions. Taking corrective medicine in the form of chanting the holy names of God and associating with the words and when possible, the presence, of saints is the path to freedom. All other paths lead us into deeper bondage. It may sound harsh, but this is our choice.

Old Friends

I've been absent for awhile from blogland. I was on the road, flying from here to there. A couple days ago, i landed in Washington, D.C., to meet an old, dear friend. We first met 40 years ago, in New York City. We were young seekers, looking for God. We took drugs together searching for higher meaning, and joined Iskcon together a couple of years later, compelled to follow the pure devotee who was the great guru of our times. Now, half a lifetime later, we met again, deep into our middle age. My friend is doing well. He wears a Muslim prayer cap now, and his path is informed by the spiritual traditions of Iran and the language of the Koran. While the form he embraces is now Sufism, he is still the same seeker.

Friends are mirrors, just as are all close relationships. We want to see our friends reinforce our good qualities and are uncomfortable when they show us our faults and limitations. But it is not the sharing of judgements or belief systems that is really important, but the sharing of basic values, especially the values of self realization and devotion to one Supreme Being. It is that sharing which gives us inspiration and hope.


After the pride and intoxication of our youth has been humbled by the force of time, it's nice to see that those values we were so idealistic about in our youth remain as the core content of our lives. Form is a function of content, and the form of God consciousness has manifold expressions. Regardless of the form, the expression is always good when the content is God, Who is all-good and all-inclusive. It is He only who reconciles all diversity and all contradictions in the unity of His personality. We who are lost in the duality of forms in this world, can be relieved and liberated when we recognize and serve the purpose of that Supreme Personality.

Suffering as Mercy

From a letter written by Srila Prabhupada to his disciple, Guru das, on February 13, 1968: 

I have received also one letter from Upendra today, and I am so glad he is released within 10 days. That was my expectation when he came to see me, that he couldn't be incarcerated for more than a week. This instance of suffering by a devotee should be carefully noted. As Upendra was in the beginning incarcerated for 3 months, it was reduced to one week; similarly, when a devotee is seen in trouble, it should be accepted as God's Mercy.

Just like Upendra's suffering for 3 months was destined by the law, but by the Mercy of God the suffering is reduced to one week only. So a devotee always accepts his distress as minimized by God's Mercy, although he would have to suffer many more times the suffering. Any one who accepts this philosophy of God's Mercy in suffering conditions, and still makes progress in Krishna Consciousness, it is said that he is sure to go back to Home, Back to Godhead.

Obama & Krishna

If anyone is following the news, one cannot avoid reading about the race for President of the US. And the most exciting person by far in that race is an African-American (father from Kenya, mother from Kansas) born in Hawaii, Senator Barack Obama.

Obama's fame and popularity have risen beyond rock star proportions. He's become like one of the Beatles in their prime. Wherever he goes, he attracts arenas full of people-- many of them young-- and inspires tremendous hope. That he is running on the platform of hope, against the forces of the status quo, is what makes his candidacy unique. And that he is one of the most gifted speakers in more than a generation gives him superstar attraction.

I have been following his campaign for the past six weeks as it's dramatically unfolded. And not because of any interest in politics, but because of the tone and intellect of Obama. He has become the voice of a new generation of Americans who are ignorant of what is really good for them but want something more than what they have now. They are dissatisfied with the lies, deception and hypocrisy they have seen in their leaders. They have placed their hope in Obama, and so far, he seems to be channeling their trust perfectly. His gifts and his timing will probably make him the next President of the US.

The question will then become -- beyond the rhetoric of hope and change-- can Obama deliver anything new, anything valuable? Can any man, conditioned as we all are in this highly material society, actually be tranformative and move the world towards a brighter, more enlightened space?? Or will he be consumed and co-opted by the huge and heavy forces of insidious darkness, the godless corporate demons?

For Krishna, nothing is impossible. If he wants, Krishna can empower anyone, any jiva, to accomplish his will. He empowered Hanuman, a monkey, to discover Sita and burn down Lanka. (Although Hanuman is an incarnation of Sankara, Lord Siva.) He empowered Arjuna to kill Bhisma and conquer the greatest army ever assembled on the battlefield of Kuruksetra. And he empowered Srila Prabhupada to deliver both the Yuga dharma (chanting of the holy names) and Krishna prema (divine love) to the far corners of the globe in 12 short years.

These are mahabhagavat pure devotees. They were given special powers to achieve the internal desires of Krishna, and for their surrendered efforts they received eternal fame. Real agents of transformation are those who single-mindedly overcome all obstacles to carry out Krishna's will.

Barack Obama is not an empowered devotee but he's a good man, a gifted, justice-seeking, inspired politician. He has intelligence and openness and some awareness of the unity behind the diversity, at least in humankind. There is a kind of recognition of the transcendent in Obama that is absent in almost all other politicians. This quality sets him apart and inspires hope in people, and this is the mystical power of his campaign i think. 

From his speech on Feb. 12th, after he won three landslide primaries, here are a few things he said (to see and hear him speak is like watching a great artist, but these are the points that struck me in his speech):

"We know our road will not be easy. But we also know that at this moment the cynics can no longer say our hope is false.

"It's a game where Democrats and Republicans fail to come together year after year after year, while another mother goes without health care for her sick child. That's why we have to put an end to the division and distraction in Washington, so that we can unite this nation around a common purpose, a higher purpose.

"It's a game where the only way for Democrats to look tough on national security is by talking, and acting and voting like Bush-McCain Republicans, while our troops are sent to fight tour after tour of duty in a war that should've never been authorized and should've never been waged. That's what happens when we use 9/11 to scare up votes, and that's why we need to do more than end a war – we need to end the mindset that got us into war.

"That's the choice in this primary. It's about whether we choose to play the game, or whether we choose to end it...

"That is our calling in this campaign. To reaffirm that fundamental belief – I am my brother's keeper, I am my sister's keeper – that makes us one. The politics of hope does not mean hoping things come easy. Because nothing worthwhile in this country has ever happened unless somebody, somewhere stood up when it was hard; stood up when they were told – no you can't, and said yes we can.

"It's the same message we had when we were up, and when we were down; that out of many, we are one; that our destiny will not be written for us, but by us; and that we can cast off our doubts and fears and cynicism because our dream will not be deferred; our future will not be denied; and our time for change has come."

There are qualities of transcendence in this speech: of oneness in the many; of feeling compassion for other souls; of affirming the power to overcome limitations of fear; of seeking clarity to look for goodness and peace.

Obama promises to become the most eloquent and most successful political leader since JFK. Whether he can personally achieve greatness, or even if he can survive without being assassinated, is a real question. But one must give him credit for his audacity and courage. And hope that Krishna decides to empower him further to actually create a more favorable environment for spiritual transformation on this planet.

We anxiously wait and pray for such leaders to emerge in our nations and in our spiritual societies as well. We hope the time for change has come.

Vasant

Vasant is the first month of Spring in India, and today is Vasant Pancami, the fifth day of Vasant, according to the Indian calendar. It is celebrated as the beginning of Spring. Today in Vrindavan dham, all the Deities in the temples take off Their winter clothing (including gloves and scarfs) and put on bright yellow dresses. It is a beautiful festival. Lord Krishna once told Narada: "What is the meaning of life without festivity?"

I am thinking about this today, trying worship my Giriraj silas in this mood. But without the company of sadhus and without a strong purpose for seva, it is difficult to feel festive.

Today i was also reading some letters Srila Prabhupada wrote to his early disciples in February, 1967. He wrote to Kirtanananda: "I wish that each and every Branch shall keep their independent identity and cooperate keeping the Acarya in the centre. On this principle we can open any number of Branches all over the world. The Ramakrishna mission works on this principle and thus as organization they have done wonderfully."

How this basic instruction has been twisted and abused! This practical order, like so many others, is unrecognizable in today's Iskcon. But this instruction gives us a hint of how to function, even as disenfranchised disciples. We do not need to be passive. We can learn to act as independent identities, according to our individual natures, keeping the Acarya in the centre thru our work. At least we can try to cooperate with Prabhupada as individuals. That will be the best way to overcome our lamentation and create a festive mood in our hearts.

New Moon -- Amavasya

Tonite is the new moon, the time when the moon becomes dark. In the West, it goes unnoticed, but in India, especially in the holy places, it is an important part of daily life. Living in Vrindavan and Mayapur, i was always conscious of the moon's movements, both on the calendar and in the sky.

To see the moon in one of the holy dhams is a different experience. Difficult to say how, but somehow, the moon, in its different phases, reminded me of the Lord. And the calendar is based on the moon. Much more immediate and visceral than the solar calendar or the Gregorian calendar. Months are measured by the waning and waxing of the moon, and holy days are pegged to the moon's position. Ekadasis are also calculated following the new moon and the full moon.

The moon is full of magic. Lunatic comes from "luna" meaning moon. I guess that includes just about all of us here in this material world. It's a place for lunatics to chill.

But it's also a place to discover one's sanity, if one is fortunate enough to meet a sane and sober saint.

Amavasya, the new moon day, offers a chance for new beginnings. No matter how badly things have gone, or seem to be going, there is always a chance to start over. That is the good part of the material world. There is always an opportunity to redeem oneself, to remember-- "I am a tiny servant of Krishna (aka Allah, Isvara, Jehovah, Khoda, Paramatma, the Supreme Person, Bhagavan)."