Madison Avenue

Now, Osama bin Laden has put out a new video. He is lecturing Americans on the evils of corporate capitalism i've read. And praising Noam Chomsky, the radical liberal intellectual. One asura of hatred is instructing another asura of greed to give up the sinful path. If you give it up and join Islam, all is well. (That is, if you don't become a Shia, God forbid.) But if you don't convert from sin to our brand of Islam, my friend, well, no hard feelings, but if we bring down a few more of your tall buildings or perhaps nuke a couple of your cities with dirty bombs, it's just jihad, you know.

Tonite i needed to go to Home Depot to buy some electrical supplies for my renovation project. I took a Crosstown bus to Lexington Avenue and another bus down to 59th Street. Did my shopping and then waited for a bus back uptown. It was a foggy nite, and the fog and darkness and skyscrapers created an image of Gotham City for me. The Upper East Side is the emblem of capitalism. But sorry, Osama, it's not about to convert to your perverted form of religion.

A man of wisdom, however, sees both the over indulgent wealth and the crushing poverty of this world-- the highest to the lowest-- all as nasty and temporary. That we like what looks nice here and want to be praised as good men and women here and we are attached to this body's fleeting pleasures and pains-- these are the symptoms of our disease, ignorance.

On the bus back to my apartment, i drove past Madison Avenue. Madison Avenue used to be the home of the world's most famous ad agencies. It became a synonym for the marketing of America, when America was more influential in the world and less self conscious. Into that mileu came Srila Prabhupada. For that reason alone-- Srila Prabhupada's coming to preach here-- we can say that New York and America were blessed. Prabhupada told the truth to the Americans he met, but he didn't condescend to them or ask them to convert to his form of Hinduism. With great compassion he offered them real knowledge and a taste for the transcendental experience. Only a paramhamsa can act so perfectly.

Letter to a Devotee

Yesterday i received an email from a very nice devotee whom i had met in Mayapur about 4 years ago while shooting video. He sent me an email after discovering my blog, and asked me if i ever made a documentary from the footage i shot (I haven't). I replied to him this morning and publish it here since it summarizes my view of the current situation.

Dear......prabhu,
My dandavats to you. Thank you for your email. I apologize that my memory is not so good with names, but i do recall our meeting in Mayapur 4 years ago when i was shooting a lot of footage with my Canon dv camera. Ambika Kalna ki jai! And thank you again for that glass of delicious pomegranate juice. It's a great tonic.

Prabhu, if you read my blog carefully you will understand my current mood. I have been twice separated from Iskcon-- once i left in 1984 to become an independent householder because i was very angry with my godbrothers who had hijacked Srila Prabhupada's movement in the name of Zonal Acaryas. Then i tried to come close again to Iskcon when i lived in Vrindavan and Mayapur from 2000-2005. Again i became disappointed with the superficiality and corporate mentality. It was more of the same pretension as the '80s, except now it was polished and formalized into an organized religion. So i left the association of Iskcon again. Twice separated, i am now filing for divorce.

I write like this to you because i see you are a very sincere devotee and it appears you working within the borders of Iskcon. There are many, many sincere devotees like you. This is Prabhupada's mercy. There are also many many sincere devotees outside of Iskcon, and this is also Prabhupada's mercy. What we are lacking in the world today is not mercy. We are lacking examples of vaisnavas who practice the culture of love. That is what i was attracted to when i was thinking about making a documentary with that title, "Culture of Love" in Mayapur. I wanted to show the simple, beautiful qualities of dham basies who have these qualities in their blood and who demonstrate these qualities in their faces and behaviors.

Unfortunately, neither Iskcon nor any organized math promotes or teaches such qualities. Instead, Iskcon and other groups promote a show of "spirituality" which is strong on glamour, hoopla, temple construction, external etiquette and imitation acharyas, but very short on real vaisnava exchanges. It has become a kind of show business, not the revolutionary movement to re-spiritualize the world that Srila Prabhupada introduced.

As a result, the world is not getting the full mercy that Srila Prabhupada and Sri Mahaprabhu want to give it. No doubt, that divine flow will find its own way to be released in the future. But i see this period as a time of darkness, or at best a transitional one (darkness before the dawn). I feel that it's every man for himself now. Survival of the "faithest." Sorry, but that's my take on the current state of affairs.

Having said that, i hope your own spiritual life is rich and inspiring. Hoping this finds you in good health.
your fallen friend,
nava jauvana das

Quote of the Day

"Write to be understood, speak to be heard, read to grow."
Lawrence Clark Powell (late librarian and author)

Dear Srila Prabhupada,

Please accept my obeisances at your lotus feet. It is with shame that i write this. First, it is impossible for me to glorify you. How can a fly glorify a swan? The best a fly can do is fly away and not disturb a swan. But you are far beyond a swan. As a paramhamsa amongst paramhamsas, you not only tolerate flies such as me, you call them close to you and give them your blessings.

Five years ago when i was in Bombay making my album, Jivatma Express, i went to your Juhu temple on this day to try to glorify you. I spoke briefly from my heart and the devotees appreciated my words. I remember Sridhar Swami, who is no longer with us, getting up from his seat and embracing me after my talk. But early this year, i returned to Juhu temple to stop over for a few days on my way from the US to South India. I attended the morning program, but when i looked at your murti on the vsyasasan, you looked unhappy. When i attempted to go to your quarters on the 5th Floor of the Guest House during visiting hours, i was told your apartment was closed. Later, in Vrindavan at the magnificent temple you built for Krishna Balaram and Radha Shyamasundar, you also looked unhappy on your vyasasan. I could not feel your presence there. And the devotees had lost access to your rooms at Radha Damodar that you said were the hub of the spiritual world on this earth.

How you will rectify what has gone wrong in the movement you founded only you and Krishna know. What i know, when i look at myself, is that i am not following you properly. You gave a tall order. How does a fly follow a swan? I don't expect to be anything other than a fly in this life. But i guess this is the test. To hope against hope to find some way, somehow or other, to follow you and to give you some pleasure. If this becomes my constant meditation, then i will consider my fly life successful.

your fallen and insignificant disciple,
nava jauvana das

Janmastami on Second Avenue

Sounds like the title of a hit song from the 40's (although i wasn't around back then so i'm just guessing). Actually it was a huge hit in the 60's. It was where Srila Prabhupada performed one of the greatest miracles in religious history. Tonite i decided to go on pilgrammage to 26 Second Avenue, Prabhupada's "Matchless Gifts," the western world's first Radha Krishna temple.

I took the "C" train to West 4th St. and the "F" train to Second Avenue. The Subway in NYC is much cleaner and cooler (air conditioned cars) than back in the 60's when Prabhupada took it. It isn't a model subway, but it felt a lot safer than i recall from almost 40 years ago. When i got down on Second Avenue and Houston Street (where Prabhupada first met Hayagriva on the street in 1966), i turned and walked two short blocks up Second Avenue. There on the corner is a large Exxon petrol station and next to it sits the tiny temple, a storefront attached to a nondescript apartment building.

I crossed the street and noticed bars across the front window. The temple was locked and it was 6:45 pm, just 15 minutes before their bi-weekly program was supposed to start (Tuesday and Friday evenings, 7-9 pm). There was a sign in the window that said: Janmastami will be held at the Brooklyn Temple. Take the A train to Jay St. and another train to the next stop. I wasn't really disappointed. I thought for a minute of going to the Brooklyn temple where the devotees would be and also nice deities of Radha Govinda, but decided against it. I was inspired to visit 26 Second Avenue because of Prabhupada and what he did there, but i wasn't inspired to visit Iskcon in Brooklyn.

I stood there in front of the storefront for several minutes, trying to imagine what it was like in 1966. It's a very small space, around 8 meters wide by about 30 meters long. The devotees renovated the storefront, and it looks gentrified, much newer than it must have looked 41 years ago. It would have been nice if they had replicated it. But that requires a little imagination.

Now it looks like a comfortable yoga studio, with a shiny wooden floor, and a small altar with a black and white photo of Srila Prabhupada sitting with his three original Bhagavatams. In the storefront window, 4 books were displayed. Only one of them was Prabhupada's book, Bhagavad-gita as it is. The others were a cookbook, a compilation (Coming Back), and a book about India.

I was sympathetic to the devotee who decided to close the temple on Janmastami and go to Brooklyn where he could socialize with other devotees and participate in the abhisek, bhajans, etc. But i also thought this is typical of a movement where preaching is no longer the essence. Preaching or expanding the circle of Krishna's mercy has taken a back seat to corporate religiosity and institutional indulgence.

While i was standing in front of the storefront, two young Indian women approached, also unaware that the storefront would be closed tonite. They knew it was Janmastami. I don't know if they decided to take the train to Brooklyn for darshan. I was actually satisfied to have darshan of the storefront and the image in my mind of Prabhupada having been there. I didn't mind missing the devotees, because i expected they would have a mindset that is far from mine. And for the deities, i have a very nice photo of Radha London Isvara with me, so i can have Their darshan.

I decided to walk up Second Avenue to Iskcon's 2nd Radha Krishna Temple, which was at 61 Second Avenue. Prabhupada gave many classes and kirtans there from 1967 thru 1969. It's just 2 or 3 short blocks up from the storefront. I noticed a number of evangelical churches on the Avenue mixed in with old apartment buildings and many newer bars. In fact, 61 Second Avenue has become "Dempsey's," a fairly upscale bar. The sign outside says: Happy Hour 4-8 pm. I guess it was also Happy Hour when Prabhupada used to lead kirtans and arotiks there.

I looked in. It's much larger than the storefront. It was strange to see the bar with its customers on bar stools where the devotees used to gather for kirtan. It shows how this material nature is so transformative, constantly shifting from goodness to passion to ignorance. It never stops changing. Nothing is static.

I turned left on East 4th St. to walk towards the West Village. After some time i walked by New York University, then Washington Square Park and finally MacDougal Street, where Bob Dylan got his start as a folksinger. New York University was also where i met my friend, Marz (Atreya Rishi) at a night class. He lived in Greenwich Village and we became friends then, both of us searching for a guru. Little did we know how close we were to an uttama guru. It was only by the mercy of Krishna that after a short search, we found him.

Missing the Boat

What i'm saying, my dear friends, is that this whole discussion about guru tattva and the guru issue is wrong. From the day Srila Prabhupada left us, until today, we should be discussing not who is a guru, but "who is a vaisnava?" And helping each other develop those qualities, behaviors and thought patterns that form the foundation of a vaisnava. I am certainly not a vaisnava and although my observation is defective, i cannot easily find others who inspire me to be a vaisnava. All this talk about gurus is nonsense. When i hear it now i say: wait!! Where are the vaisnavas??

Diversity is celebrated in this universe by Lord Brahma's amazing creation, and in the spiritual world by the innumerable expansions of Visnu and nitya siddhas. Why cannot we, on this small planet, in the super tiny world of devotees, not recognize and accomodate each other? The answer: we are not yet vaisnavas. The demigods must be laughing at us as we waste our time discussing guru tattva.

Crazy Rascal Syndrome

After reading more of the Sampradaya Sun and hearing the arguments of my godbrothers on the subject of diksa initiation, my only conclusion is that Srila Prabhupada could not appoint anyone to be guru because he knew no one had even the basic qualification to save himself, what to speak of saving others. And that 30 years later, that remains pretty much the case.

We just don't have the basic mindset of a vaisnava, which is non-envious, non-greedy, not looking for our own name. We attribute material qualities and criterion to spiritual phenomena, thus contaminating our thinking, feeling and willing. We speak as if we know something and then use quotations from scriptures to support our opinion, but in reality, we know nothing when we don't know "vasudeva sarvam iti."

Even worse, we misuse the pure intentions of our eternal well wishers for our own selfish goals. We misinterpret their words and slander them, or conversely, we align our own misconceptions with their personalities to give our thoughts (or the words of our chosen spokesman cum guru), false credibility and importance.

Is it better to do this than going to a bar or a brothel? I suppose so. But it's a far, far cry from the loving exchanges between genuine devotees we read about in the books. It illustrates the terrible price we all are paying due to our own deficiencies.

So what about the guru issue? My general answer is, first things first. To everyone who is now on a soapbox promoting their "absolute" understanding of "guru tattva," i say, come down to earth and develop your qualities of kindness, tolerance, forgiveness, and the 23 other qualities of a vaisnava. Give up your pride and show us your example. When there is a chance for real sadhu sanga, the issues of guru tattva and all other controversies can easily become clear. Without sadhu sanga, you'll find yourself in another goddamned religion.

Another Sunday in New York

Sundays are a bit more reflective than other days for me. I don't know why, except it's quieter, the official day of rest, although in America all the shops are open. This morning i walked down Central Park West to Whole Foods to buy my groceries. A cop was giving a ticket to a poor black guy sitting on a park bench. I don't know if he was drunk or jonesed or why the cop was giving him a ticket. But i thought it strange that, in this country, even sitting on a bench can be a criminal offense.

Further on, a fat guy was sitting on another bench. He had two handwritten signs saying something about helping him out, and he was holding a rosary in one hand. I felt sorry for him. No one in New York pays attention to someone like him. Even i was skeptical of him. Beggars in America are untouchables. No money, no respect. After shopping, i decided to walk back instead of catching the bus. The beggar was still sitting there. Now he was looking more depressed, not fingering the rosary any more, his head down. I walked past him, then stopped, took a dollar out of my wallet, turned around and said: "Here, friend." He looked up, took the buck and said, "God bless you." "Hare Krishna," i responded, and he easily repeated: "Hare Krishna." I smiled and turned to continue walking. I was happy he chanted. Maybe he had heard Krishna's name before or maybe it was the first time, but he was totally open and had no trouble to say Krishna's name. Shows how akincina, to be possessionless, is a great qualification for spiritual life. Unfortunately, in this society, to be akincina you need to be completely down and out.

Now i'm back in my little bubble, the condo. Another week ahead of hassling with the realty company and condo supervisor, contractors and workers. And another week of hassling with my own mind which is always trying to find sense gratification, always searching out another face of maya, rather than submitting to and taking shelter at the lotus feet of Srila Prabhupada and Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu.

The Beauty of Krishna's Toenails

This is a short excerpt from the mouth of om visnupada paramhamsa Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur. It is taken from Amrta Vani, an English translation of a book originally compiled in Bengali by a disciple of Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Thakur.

"The vaisnavas are under the supreme Lord's shelter and they are his servants. That is their only pride.

"They are akincana, without material possessions, because they want nothing from this world. Nothing in this world tempts them. There is nothing in this world or the next that is more desirable to them than the beauty of Krishna's toenails.

"Whenever we are not attracted to serving Krishna purely, it must be understood that we are suffering from illusion and we have been attacked by one of the many faces of maya."

Wonderful Krishna, Wonderful Mercy

Once i had the opportunity to read a chapter of The Krishna Book for Srila Prabhupada in his garden in the Watseka temple in Los Angeles. I wanted a short chapter, something easy to read, so i selected "Wonderful Krishna." Prabhupada sat on a seat (either a wooden or concrete bench with a small carpet or cushion on it) and listened to me read his own words paraphrasing the cowherd men who glorified Krishna to Nanda Maharaj after Krishna lifted Goverdhan Hill. He just listened, not interrupting my reading. It seems like long, long ago, another age, practically another life.

But here i am (and here we are) still in this present incarnation (although most of us for just another 10-20-30 years). What have i learned in the 35 years since i read that chapter to Srila Prabhupada? I think my best realizations are:

1) that i am, indeed, a crazy rascal, as i've been writing about in this blog. This is no small realization. One of my favorite essays i came across when i first joined Iskcon was Prabhupada's "Who is Crazy?" It's no wonder i liked that writing, since all my life experience since then has demonstrated the truth of Prabhupada's purport. Everyone here, starting with me, is crazy in this material world. Who is Crazy? I am crazy.

And 2) The most wonderful thing is this world is Krishna's/Prabhupada's mercy. Sometimes that mercy comes to us in a form that appears materially beneficial. Sometimes it appears to work against us, or even to destroy us. But no matter how that wonderful mercy appears, it is Krishna and Prabhupada, always in the background, on the heart plane, calling us to wake up to the sound of Gaura's kirtan.